Ready, Set, Muffins…

Well here is your chance to blog about this list, and I must say, you’re welcome. This is an AWESOME list, that if I didn’t love you guys I wouldn’t give it to you, honestly GIVE IT to you,because it is killing me not to write about it….but go ahead, take away my fun….

I know it is a little hard to read because(if you have a question about an item on the list just ask!!) The paper was crinkled up, obviously they got mad in the store, SORRY!!! Ok, I gotta go,because this is torture! Post your comments, have fun..eat a banana or 3.

This little piggy went to market…

Well well well…this list was found in Fort Lee, NJ in Shop Rite,  and thank goodness it was found there, or else they could have been shopping in the wrong town! Now I wonder why they needed to write Fort Lee on the top. How many other towns were they going to, and where the hell are the other lists? Even better, this clearly was only for the Fort Lee deli counter, because hello, they clearly aren’t buying anything but deli meat, 3/4 of each to be exact. I bet it would have been easier to write the names of the meats down instead of the 3/4 each time. What were they going to mix it up, and just say a half of pound to throw off the deli guy? Come on, it’s not like these are odd meats that you have never heard of, they are the typical cold cuts that everyone buys, so a list stating 3/4 of all of them is just idiotic.

Now, there are two options with the Roast Beef, hold on, let me clean the vomit off my desk cause I almost puked reading the words BLOODY R. BEEF. Really people, with someone out there like me, finding lists and critiquing them save your self the embarrasment and just write down the damn words, roast beef, bloody is soo uncalled for. It is disgusting, and I am pretty sure the deli guy judges you even more, when you walk up there with this damn list and say, ”hi yeah I need 3/4 pounds of ham, 3/4 pounds of SPICED ham, 3/4 pounds of chicken or turkey, What do you think I should get?  And oh yea, 3/4 of bloody roast beef please!” I would not be surprised in the least if the guy was like, ’so you don’t have to repeat that can you just give me the list and I’ll slice them for you’, because guaranteed he needed to see the words BLOODY for his own two eyes. Or maybe, just maybe there is a slight change you are from England, and you were just emphasizing that you wanted the(insert accent here) BLOODY roast beef .

Now the on to the ham, regular and spiced could have been written like that ‘ham and spiced ham’, nope this person thinks that spiced ham comes from a totally different animal, perhaps a latina pig, hence the spiced part. Who knows, but what I do know is that their sodium must be sky high, or they are on some sick carnivorous diet, and in that case this list is perfect for them. I am sorry, I still can’t get over the bloody part….

And finally…I am sad to report they don’t have that yellow potassium booster we all love; bananas, on there…but this person doesn’t deserve them, sorry Fort Lee..have fun with your meats.

2 lists, 1 guest blogger, and 3 bananas

So, I know I have been slacking, but it is all within reason. I have been on the road for work which has kept me very busy these past few weeks. I actually was in heaven, I mean Target yesterday, here in Chicago while away for work, and didn’t even come across a list. It was a total let down but have no fear. Next week I will have two lists posted, but there is a catch! One list I will do my usual breakdown, blogging and deciphering of, while the other list I will leave to you…that’s right, you can be the first guest blogger on Don’t Forget The Bananas!! All you need to do is read the list that I put up for you, comment as if you are a guest blogger, and the BEST one will be then re-posted on the blog along with the list. So get your grocery store mind working…and oh, you will go bananas, bananas, bananas when you see the list I have for you to guest blog on!

Georgia on my mind…

So finally someone sent a list. It was sent from my friend JF, who lives in GA with his beautiful wife and breathtaking baby boy. He found this list in his house, it is his wives, and it’s pretty awesome.

The first thing that sticks out at me is, that bananas are listed then fruit is listed. Now, correct me if I am  wrong, but aren’t bananas considered fruit? I believe they are, so if anything, she could have kept this list even smaller, and just wrote fruit, cause odds are while you are walking around the fruit section you’ll see the lovely yellowness of the nanners, and think, YES! THERE THEY ARE! Definitley no need to write them down.

Next, mushrooms. Yes, there are different types, there are button, portobella, the drug kind (imagine having that on a list!?) there are different sizes, but usually when someone writes mushrooms they write the kind, not the size, cause it doesn’t really matter. You see the TYPE you want, then you go for the size, right? Maybe it’s just me, most likely it is.

Toilet paper, pretty standard, and at the top of the list, I like your style.

Finally, BEER. Now I know wifey didn’t write that down with out a few shouts from the peanut gallery. It is totally a last minute thing. Like wife: ‘hey babe, headed out to the store for a few (literally) a few things’ JF responds, ‘BEER, don’t forget the beer.’  So in an effort not to forget it, she writes beer at the bottom.

Hey JF, did she forget the beer? I know she didn’t forget the fruit and bananas!

Are Strawberries In Season?

So I am immediately going to disregard the spelling mistakes. It happens, not a big deal, this isn’t a grammar/spelling test, but I do question the use of question marks here. First with Strawberries? Are they in season? Is that the reasoning behind the question? Or maybe are they on sale this week? WHO KNOWS!! Next use of the lovely mark of question, cookies? Now I really don’t have a reasoning for this. Plain and simple you want cookies. It’s not ‘hmm, I wonder if the grocery store still sells cookies?’ Or ‘cookies? What exactly are cookies?’ I strongly think that the question mark here is unnecessary.

Now did you see that other, lovely item on the list, Panty Liners? It makes me wonder what kind of list this really is, because this person goes from italian cheese (muzzarella, every so perfectly spelled) to panty liners, and bottoms out the list with none other than the drink of the Russians, Vodka. Gray Goose to be exact.  The main question I have at this point, is where does this person shop that they have GG Vodka in the grocery store! Heaven I bet.

A quick little tid bit about the peaches, 4 PEACHES. I have a strong feeling they just wrote peaches, and as they were out the door someone yelled the words ‘HEY WHEN YOU GET PEACHES GET 4 OF THEM BECAUSE THE 2 YOU USUALLY GET AREN’T ENOUGH.’ Or something along those lines. Needless to say, I hope the bright blue ink, and the number 4 helped them to remember this.

This list is scatter brained to say the least, but I just can’t get past the few question marks, the vodka and panty liners. Did you notice, that there are bananas on the list. So what they are spelled wrong as well, they obviously won’t forget the nanners.

2 is the lonliest number.

Really? Really?!?!? Come on..this cannot be real. I know that is what you are thinking, but….

It is real, right there in ink…your eyes are not playing tricks on you!!! This list, this legitimate shopping list only has two, yes count them people, two items on it.  And it isn’t like they are so random that you need a list to remember them. Let alone a whole piece of paper to write them on! Garbage bags, easy to remember, what does your garbage go in? Garbage bags!!! What do you take out twice a week, GARBAGE! EASY!!!

And toilet paper, how can you forget that? What do you use like 8 times a day (if you are a male, maybe a little less than that, if more, then God bless you!) Toilet Paper. Bingo! Another easy way to remember this is perhaps what are two things in the bathroom, near the toilet that you nee dto buy, BAM! Garbage bags and TP. Come on people, save some paper, work on your memory a little and just buy the two items, no list needed. Maybe Ginki Biloba should have been on this list.

Don’t those two items look so lonley? Like something else should go with it. Perhaps, hand soap, or windex, or light bulbs, something else must have been bought with this stuff, right? Help these people, please. If you see someone with a list of two items, just go up to them and say, hey buddy, don’t forget the Bananas.

Food Shopping Amnesia…

Well here is another lovely list. I am sure you noticed from first looking at it that the stationary says “don’t forget!” on the top, how fitting for this blog!!!? Anyway, let’s cut to the chase, whoevers list this is needs serious help. I honestly just don’t get it. It is like she, yes, a woman wrote this, she wrote her list, once, then decided to write it again. Actually that is exactly what happened.  It is a first draft, and a final draft, like a damn novel of a list! She even included what items she has coupons for, TWICE.  Oh yea, what a thrifty shopper, her milk is FREE!! YIPEE!! FREE MILK!!! Watch out!!!

Granted there are some things on the bottom list that are not on the top list, like…blueberries and chicken flavor boulion cubes, parm. cheese and rice a roni..which makes me think that there items just happend to surprise her once she got there and were later added, but who knows!!! This list leads me to a few conclusions, ( which I might add…) feel free to tell me what you think was going on here; cause I need help with this one!!! And again, feel free to leave anything I might have missed in your comment…I love all of them!

1: The top list is what she actually bought, meaning, she wrote it down as she bought it, hence the top Milk is free, and it doesnt just say coupon.

2: A simple case of OCD ( which we all have BTW)…Wrote one list, re wrote it to her liking, and crossed items off as they were bought. Including items she had coupons for!

3: She has food shopping amneisa, as we all know, no windows, weird music, free samples, tickets for deli meat,  and loud announcements of clean ups and specials, we can all go a little crazy while food shopping, hence the double list.

4:Let’s be real, the only good thing about this list, she didnt forget the Bananas!

You ain’t nothin’ but a Hound Bone…

It was a hard decision as to what list to post first, but I quickly realized that why not go for it with this one. This is where the idea of the title of my blog started, as you can see!

Listed on the left side of the list, a.k.a the WF (Whole Foods) side is none other than a desire for bananas, bananas, bananas. But that is not what makes this list so amazing. To start off they want cold cuts from WF, awesome, great, good for you. But then 2 lbs of ground chicken thighs and, wait for it…OTHER MEAT FOR DINNER. Seriously. Unless you are feeding Shrek; Roast Beef, Salami, Chicken Tenders and 2lbs of Chicken Thighs should be more than enough for dinner.  There is a wild card in this list, can you see it? Placed between the columns of WF and SR (Shop Rite) is PLANT FOR ANNETTA! Who knows if WF or SR has just the one you are looking for! I guess we will never know. I was surprised to see listed last, on the WF list was Hound Bones.  I would think this too would be a wild card because from my experience SR also has these so called ‘hound bones’. But come on, wouldn’t you just write Dog Bones? Who says HOUND BONES?

Enough of WF, I feel healthy already just reviewing that side of the list. Let’s go to the average Americans store, SR. Simple list, probably didn’t want people in the neighborhood to see the shop rite bags so there are enough items to put in their recyclable bags from WF. 2 things from the SR list that stick out, very detailed… Box Of 16 Crayola Crayons. Now, I am not sure how many other brands of Crayons there are, but was it necessary to put Crayola down? And why not go for the box of 36 or 24?? Was something that specific that only the box of 16 was needed? It’s like writing Kleenex Tissues. You know what you want, just get it! And finally Cereal-Cheerios. I personally think Cheerios would have been sufficient. I mean Cereal is broad yes, but Cheerios really doesn’t refer to anything else, but the O’s of Cheeri.

With that said, I hope you enjoyed this first post. It was a long one, hoping to keep you tuning in for more. If you find lists, and think they are worthy (THEY ALL ARE) please contact me! And try this today…instead of flipping someone off that cuts you off, or cursing at someone, or getting mad at someone, just tell them..You Ain’t Nothin’ But A Hound Bone!!!

Enjoy! And oh yea….don’t forget the bananas, bananas, bananas.

Hello world!

So….I collect shopping lists.  Yup, lists of food….I love them!!!

Any type of food shopping lists that my friends or I come across, I put directly in a shoe box. Sometimes we find them on the ground, in carts, or even in peoples hands.  A simple, “hey can I have that when you are done” works sometimes too!

After about 4 years of collections, I decided to share my findings with everyone!! Honestly, I have no idea what goes through people’s minds WHILE food shopping, but lists are a perfect way to figure out what they are thinking before hand.

So stay tuned, I will be uploading some of my lists, and my feelings, opinions and WTF’s weekly!!

And please, don’t forget the BANANAS!!!