Well well well…this list was found in Fort Lee, NJ in Shop Rite, and thank goodness it was found there, or else they could have been shopping in the wrong town! Now I wonder why they needed to write Fort Lee on the top. How many other towns were they going to, and where the hell are the other lists? Even better, this clearly was only for the Fort Lee deli counter, because hello, they clearly aren’t buying anything but deli meat, 3/4 of each to be exact. I bet it would have been easier to write the names of the meats down instead of the 3/4 each time. What were they going to mix it up, and just say a half of pound to throw off the deli guy? Come on, it’s not like these are odd meats that you have never heard of, they are the typical cold cuts that everyone buys, so a list stating 3/4 of all of them is just idiotic.
Now, there are two options with the Roast Beef, hold on, let me clean the vomit off my desk cause I almost puked reading the words BLOODY R. BEEF. Really people, with someone out there like me, finding lists and critiquing them save your self the embarrasment and just write down the damn words, roast beef, bloody is soo uncalled for. It is disgusting, and I am pretty sure the deli guy judges you even more, when you walk up there with this damn list and say, ”hi yeah I need 3/4 pounds of ham, 3/4 pounds of SPICED ham, 3/4 pounds of chicken or turkey, What do you think I should get? And oh yea, 3/4 of bloody roast beef please!” I would not be surprised in the least if the guy was like, ‘so you don’t have to repeat that can you just give me the list and I’ll slice them for you’, because guaranteed he needed to see the words BLOODY for his own two eyes. Or maybe, just maybe there is a slight change you are from England, and you were just emphasizing that you wanted the(insert accent here) BLOODY roast beef .
Now the on to the ham, regular and spiced could have been written like that ‘ham and spiced ham’, nope this person thinks that spiced ham comes from a totally different animal, perhaps a latina pig, hence the spiced part. Who knows, but what I do know is that their sodium must be sky high, or they are on some sick carnivorous diet, and in that case this list is perfect for them. I am sorry, I still can’t get over the bloody part….
And finally…I am sad to report they don’t have that yellow potassium booster we all love; bananas, on there…but this person doesn’t deserve them, sorry Fort Lee..have fun with your meats.
So I was wondering why she was writing on the ‘aromasin’ notepad because aromasin is used in the treatment of advanced breast cancer in postmenopausal women. Then I felt bad and said F it let the woman have the bloody roast beef. You know this is a woman’s post because guys are too lazy to write ¾ when we would probably just get a pound of each and call it a day. Nice to see she’s repping the 07024 – aka Fort Lee, the place to be!
Comment by Adam POW — July 16, 2009 @ 7:04 pm
No cheese?! What the hell kind of bloody spiced sandwiches are these people making?!
Comment by Janine — July 16, 2009 @ 7:37 pm
I think I’m going to go by the name “Bloody R. Beef” from now on. Everyone note that. I’ll just tell people the “R” stands for “Roger” or “Rerun” or something like that.
And seriously, no cheese? They’re probably using waffles as bread.
Comment by Scala — July 17, 2009 @ 2:23 pm
Down right Hilarious!!!!! By far your funniest posting yet! I always make sure to ask for my Roast Beef nice and Bloody.. There is really no other way to have it.. and this crazy person had make sure to write down “bloody” on this simple list; for two good reasons: 1) clearly they are crazy and 2) Whoever it might be is a true meat eater (and what the hell they might even be from the U.K.) and they definitely take pride in going to the proper deli counter just to get that nice and tender, juicy cut of bloody Roast Beast.. Why you ask is there a need to write Fort Lee, I might ponder because the Fort Lee Deli might carry Boars Head, (you knew that was coming), but being that it’s a Shoprite its high doubtful they have anything but Boring old Black Bear.. And you know there is no other option when it comes to deli meat, beside Boars Head.. Oh yea, where the hell is the cheese????
Comment by JP — July 18, 2009 @ 5:11 pm